January 1, 2014

Social Shunning by Sandwich

In my childhood brain, the perfect socially acceptable sandwich comprised three ingredients: Wonder bread, baloney, and a thin layer of iridescent yellow mustard whose name was foreign, but whose texture screamed "American". What I got: homemade bread the density of a neutron star with thick crusts that cut the roof of your mouth yet didn't actually manage to stay together and hold the contents in the sandwich. Topped with German mustard that was a dingy yellow and came in a weird mug. Meat was usually cured and bought at its own store (read 'deli') as opposed to that mysterious section of the supermarket where they sell bacon and lunch meat with pasta in it - it was usually shunned 'cause of nitrates. It was in a single thin layer. Cause of expense. This was topped with cheese that could not be pronounced in English. Garnish with green weedy stuff that came out of the ground wherever my mother would find it or big chunks of green pepper.

I could probably sell that sandwich at a posh bistro or nature cafe for 15$ and say something pithy about wild-sourced greens and artisan bread, but as a child who wanted  to "fit in"  I yearned for iceberg lettuce and an anemic slice of tomato. Apparently those were "bad foods" I might have died if I ate them. Hot dog days at school were great. Then there was the egalitarian sameness of meat in tube form that had been heated up in dubious looking greasy water and slapped on a bun with mustard of the proper nuclear colour.

I shouldn't complain though. Many people who grew up eating the 3-ingredient sandwich are fussy eaters and terrified by anything that smacks of exotic. I certainly can't claim that problem.

This sandwich from Wikipedia is too fancy. It has lettuce in and the mustard is all wrong.



9 comments:

Ien in the Kootenays said...

Will have to share this with Cedra and Rosie and Tanya, who will all be able to relate. And I believe I told you about Willow Yamautchi?

Lizard Queen said...

Yes, please share. You may have told me about Willow but I don't recall specifically. I also plan on linking to your blog.

e.cedra said...

My mom told me that if you took the crust off that white bread, squeezed it into a ball and dropped it on the floor, it would bounce. Whenever I got enough white bread to try that, I was too busy eating it to do the experiment. Finally tried it as an adult working in a restaurant that ended up with stale left-over bread. Didn't work as well as 25 years of anticipation had hoped. . .
And every-one else's lunches had dessert! Mine had goat milk.

Ien in the Kootenays said...

Cedra, Brillig totally out-hippied Crescent Bay! I did frequently buy those little deserty yogurts for the kids lunches.

Ien in the Kootenays said...

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9756904-adult-child-of-hippies#other_reviews

Willow Y. wrote a funny little book titled Adult Child of Hippies. It makes your childhood look mainstream. Though you do get bonus points for having lived in a tipi.

Lizard Queen said...

I also may write about how my experience was very different from "true hippies", close enough to have experienced by proximity but not enough to be screwed up by it.

Lizard Queen said...

Question for Cedra, even if it did bounce, was that supposed to be an indication that it was bad somehow? How would this be compared to "artisan bread"? Does gluten conte have something to do with this. I'll stop sciencing now...

Thea B said...

Mine totally had goat milk too! And I did eventually wad up some white bread; while I didn't wait to see if it bounced, i was disappointed when it turned grey from my dirty garden paws...

Thea B said...

Mine totally had goat milk too! And I did eventually wad up some white bread; while I didn't wait to see if it bounced, i was disappointed when it turned grey from my dirty garden paws...